Kids

Another LAN party is in progress. They have all eaten dinner (chicken, pasta with pesto sauce, salad) sitting in the dining room, and making ethnic jokes at each other. Because of the university, the smarter kids tend to be an international group. Tonight, they consist of one Canadian, four US citizens, and two Koreans. There seems to be consensus that Koreans can ace any test except the written driving test. The most affectionate jokes are about the Canadian. One started an Italian club. He is second generation; Ned joined in homage to his grandma Lola. Asians moms generally are strict, so the Koreans are not allowed to spend the night (translation: stay up all night gaming). I have heard great imitations of kids getting reamed out by their moms on the cell phone in some incomprehensible language. Daniel had one friend who would come to LAN parties whose dad was German and mom was Vietnamese. His name was great: Jan Wan Schmimmelman. All three names rhyme with won, as in won ton soup. Jan (pronounced yon) was trilingual. It was fun listening to his mom give him marching orders in Vietnamese, while his dad called him to the car in German.

The group tonight also consists of six boys and one girl. Amanda takes no prisoners. She is my son Ned's girlfriend of almost a year. She is a senior (17); he is a junior (16). She is 5' 1", blonde, blue-eyed, petite and solid muscle. She knows judo. On their first joint visit to my house last December, she proceeded to tell me the story of how, in sixth grade, her body matured early. Some idiot boy tried to touch her where he shouldn't; she responded with judo and broke his nose. The principal said he understood, but that she should try not to break kids' noses next time. Jan tried to put the moves on Amanda last summer, and she threatened to throw him if he did not back off. It was fun to see Ned's smile while Amanda later told me the story; Jan did not stand a chance.

If it is not already perfectly clear, I love and adore Amanda. The tricky thing is to take the kids seriously - they are very, very serious - while trying to help them not hurt each other in the long term. For example, Amanda is a terrific student, but comes from a relatively low income family. They are born and bred Hoosiers. Her dad used to hunt deer and squirrel to lay in a supply of meat for the family every winter. (Did I tell you she has a 22 and is an accomplished hunter?) They raised chickens and bartered with fresh eggs. She is only applying to IU, ostensibly for financial reasons. In-state tuition is less than $8,000 a year, and including room and full board in a double, it is $14,000 to $15,000 a year, and hopefully she will get a big scholarship. In comparison, Skidmore costs $49,000 a year for tuition, room and board.

However, I suspect she is also applying to IU because she is putting herself in a holding pattern while she waits to see where Ned goes. I took both kids to the University of Michigan Admissions office last summer when we picked up Ned from UMich computer camp. They both like it there, but I plan to take Ned east in March to see other schools. My concern is that they will start making compromises to be with each other and then regret it later. Amanda wants to go to medical school and do research on the genetic origins and cures for diseases. Ned wants to do a double major in engineering and architecture; he started describing spherical glass houses with green, alive, energy-generating goo in the walls when he was in elementary school. Lately, they have been building a fuel cell in the basement. They also go to the climbing gym together and scale 45' walls, taking turns belaying each other.

Meanwhile, she and Ned 'worked' the IU-Purdue football game today, called the Old Oaken Bucket game. It is an historic rivalry, and it is the one game that sells out no matter how bad our football team is (and we are amazingly, consistently bad) . The winner gets to take home the Old Oaken Bucket and have a parade. Kids in the high schools act as ticket takers at the gates to raise money for school clubs. Ned and Amanda are in the Science Olympiad, Solar Bike, and Robotics clubs. They have been working both football and basketball games this fall. The Old Oaken Bucket game requires separating hulking jocks from their beer before they enter the stands. Amanda does just fine, but they were both relieved to escape the chaos at halftime.

Mimi and I went walking today - a beautiful fall day. Tonight she is seeing the opera a second time: a new IU production of La Boheme, the precursor of her all-time favorite musical, Rent, both of which have her namesake in the starring role. Her son Nick has a small but named part and is listed in the program. He is amazingly at home on stage and has a tremendous presence. He is now tall (5' 10"?), slim and poised; he leaves for 4 months in NYC on January 5. He will be interning with Chris Benz, a top notch new designer.

Terry came to Bloomington to visit last weekend and let me recover from the Japan trip. We all went to the opera together, and then to Mimi's for champagne afterward. Nick shared portfolios of sketches and photographs of things he has designed, modeled by his closest friend Monica. It is impossible to do his work justice in words, but one was an absolutely stunning, off the shoulders evening gown with a fitted bodice and tiers of ruffles, and made entirely of black plastic garbage bags. I keep telling Mimi that he is the next Julie Taymor, because he can act, do set design, costumes, and I am sure he could direct if given a chance. I do feel a real affinity with Nick; he entirely gets my obsession with NYC.

I will be up late tonight. Amanda will sleep upstairs in Daniel's room. Ned and the other guys will sleep, eventually, in the dormitory in the basement. It is finished, with comfy rugs on top of the tile, and I have enough inflatable mattresses for everyone. I have chicken apple sausages, bagels, eggs, kiwi and strawberries for breakfast (or brunch or lunch - whenever they all wake up). I hope they will all have warm, happy memories of high school parties ten years from now.

What is everyone doing for Thanksgiving? I will be with Terry and his kids in Marin; Daniel is coming to me because he is 21 and can choose. Ned will be with his dad. Ali, are you going to be in SF? I would love to introduce Daniel to you.